yesterday i got pulled down into the dregs of emotional swampiness, bombarded with inner conversation such as:

you will always be doomed, so forget trying to excel.
you will never excel, so just lie back and be doomed.
you are nothing, nowhere, nobody.
you are hopelessly helpless and helplessly hopeless.
you'll never be anything but "fill-in-the-blank-with-any-and-all-negative-self-defeating-adjectives"

this emerged within me in the face of ALL the blossoming blessings i am increasingly inundated with from my interior and my exterior worlds. this sentiment slithered its way through like insects, worms, and weeds in a garden. and it just scared me a little.

i would like to reiterate for my own benefit and for the enrichment of the world at large:

anything that remotely resembles any of the above "black" statements is always, absolutely, unequivocally, 100%, LIES, LIES, LIES. the only response to such lies is the swift decisive application of TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH, and more TRUTH! so here goes:

my future, past, and present are all beautifully blanketed in amazing grace.
this grace empowers me to flourish and fly.
my life is overflowing with the beauty of my husband, daughter, best friend, family, other dear fellow strugglers i love dearly, and all the rainbow abundance that God lavishes on me continuously.
all moments of self-sabotage are nothing but verbal mirages, False Evidence Appearing Real, FEAR!

so what am i afraid of??? what are we all afraid of??? why, the very thing we need the most, that unfailingly sets every captive soul free...the truth. SABOTAGE equals MIRAGE. that's a little "bumpersticker-ish" but a worthwhile thing to remember and be healed by.