(volume 40 maybe...we'll see)
no more dung to shovel
no more pork to chop
finale of trouble
final petal drop
headbanging on this wall
sustains me no more
losing battles makes me
want to win my war
transitions of every kind possess both pleasure and pain. my so-lovely-it's-scary supermodel child just read me an incredible piece that she wrote about what the last week of the world's existence would be like. wish you could hear it. the last sentence gripped me the most, presumably taking place at the final finality: "and the buzzing glow enveloped them all". wow, i cannot adequately describe the excitement, horror, amazement, terror, and undeniable awe that her words evoked in my heart. giving birth, that's really what it always means, giving birth again and again, in the simple and the profound, in the complex and the cut-and-dried, transitions are always filled with those labor pains and little earthquakes that precede "the buzzing glow". the above excerpt refers to a poem about my own desire for a painful kind of transition, the big one that transitions you away from The Really Big One. you may never read the rest of the work, which outlines more obviously and disturbingly the transition i have in mind (think tom cruise at the end of 'vanilla sky'). but daily, even hourly, i choose to rein myself in for the longer haul, avoiding the big one, so that i can eventually feel "the buzzing glow" of The Really Big One envelope me. that is the hope, the promise, that fuels this struggle to keep struggling.
from the best book: "no discipline is pleasant at the time but painful...later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Thursday, October 16, 2003
LYRICALERT
on that day, i'll shout my freedom loud and strong
on that day, my soul will sing its finest song
on that day, i'll live in joy where i belong
on that day, my chains will all be gone
someone died that i hardly knew, yet the impact cut me to the core. this is part of a lyric that burst forth from the psychic buildup of inner shock and sorrow. we had only a few moments of acquaintance, but the quality of them easily led me to believe we would have become great friends at the rate we were going. suddenly losing someone only 36 years old who had so much more to say and play is just an unnatural sensation. he played the sax...you might say, and pardon the cliche but it's perfect, he had phenomenal sax appeal. our encounters gave witness to a remarkable simpatico between us, musically and non-musically. and now the reprogramming begins: no more running into "gangbusters" downtown--that was my name for him, and anyone who knew him for more than 30 seconds can testify to its appropriateness, no more improvisational give and take, no more of that one-of-a-kind magic, so briefly glimpsed, yet so powerfully and unforgettably experienced. bye gangbusters, you really are In His Presence now, shouting your freedom loud and strong, playing your soul's finest song, living in joy where you belong, with all your chains finally forever gone.
on that day, i'll shout my freedom loud and strong
on that day, my soul will sing its finest song
on that day, i'll live in joy where i belong
on that day, my chains will all be gone
someone died that i hardly knew, yet the impact cut me to the core. this is part of a lyric that burst forth from the psychic buildup of inner shock and sorrow. we had only a few moments of acquaintance, but the quality of them easily led me to believe we would have become great friends at the rate we were going. suddenly losing someone only 36 years old who had so much more to say and play is just an unnatural sensation. he played the sax...you might say, and pardon the cliche but it's perfect, he had phenomenal sax appeal. our encounters gave witness to a remarkable simpatico between us, musically and non-musically. and now the reprogramming begins: no more running into "gangbusters" downtown--that was my name for him, and anyone who knew him for more than 30 seconds can testify to its appropriateness, no more improvisational give and take, no more of that one-of-a-kind magic, so briefly glimpsed, yet so powerfully and unforgettably experienced. bye gangbusters, you really are In His Presence now, shouting your freedom loud and strong, playing your soul's finest song, living in joy where you belong, with all your chains finally forever gone.
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