may you live for the best reasons
faith, hope, and love
may you give at the best levels
beyond and above
may you fly the rapturous skies
that frightened fools forgot
may you cry when it's appropriate
and even when it's not
may you shine your silly strange light
in each dark land
may you find wisdom and wildness
strolling hand in hand
may you know that you can succeed
even when you fail
may you go where there is no path
and leave a trail
my continual best wishes for everyone in my little world, and God's BIG WORLD. be blessed, y'all!
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Monday, June 16, 2003
smokey joseph--part 1--smokey!
my experience as a part of the des moines playhouse production of "smokey joe's cafe" gave me so much growth and insight. here is my feeble attempt to capture just a few of the lessons from this marvelously catalytic time. 5 distinct phases emerged in the tina process for this project, phases that can be applied on and off the diva stage.
phase 1--badness
at the beginning of a new endeavor we all have to start somewhere. i think of nicole kidman in my favorite role of hers in the film "to die for". she's attempting to sell herself "like gangbusters" for a job at a tv station, and although the position is only for a glorified gopher, she says "do you have any idea where edward r murrow started?...well, neither do i, but i don't think it was at the top, do you?"
so it's a healthy thing to go through being at the flatline, zero knowledge, needing 100% training, quite simply...badness. in the show, it was dauntingly humbling for someone of my age to go back to school in some ways, after being increasingly affirmed and embraced as a pro. it was so beneficial for me to work through this phase and be forced out of resting on my laurels of laziness.
phase 2--basic
this is where you find out what you're really made of, your inherent wiring, your initial responses, your natural impulses. it was a serendipitous thrill to observe myself reacting to all the newness surrounding me, new musical material, new people, new sights, sounds, and exotic fragrances of the sacred space called theatre. it was one of those times where i said thanks to God because although i'm not where i want to be, i've definitely come a long way from where i was in the past, and my basic instincts were great evidence of that (and great reminders of how far i still aspire to grow).
phase 3--building
so if basic instinct was the foundation, the building phase was next, and so incredibly formative. i pushed myself in refining and tweaking ways to develop and expand my abilities, vocally, physically, socially, etc. they say there is one room that has no ceiling, the room for improvement. so it was time for me to push my long unchallenged artistic boundaries, technical, philosophical, and otherwise, to give birth to a performance i will always remember fondly with pride.
phase 4--building plus
self plus shepherding, critique, and strategically chosen tools and resources. this was not the time to declare myself beyond the help of others. this is a pivotal ingredient most of us miss out on in our attempts to deal with the issues of our lives. i was fortunate to be in a situation where the assistance of other people, places, and things was absolutely essential. this forced me to step out of myself, and become open and receptive to the wise advice of outsiders (most importantly, my director, who was nothing less than sensational).
phase 5--building super plus
self plus resources plus the magic of the audience presence in the moment. this combustive interaction provides a whole new layer of sparkle that you just can't get otherwise as a performer. in life, that's called relationships. that's called divine encounters. that's called rubbing up against the rest of the human race on a daily basis, being transformed by the touches. it's funny how i thrive so much on that special kind of audience energy in the performance setting, but rarely tap into it off stage in my personal life, and in fact, sometimes go out of my way to avoid it at all costs. but the more i let myself be transformed by this abandonment of control and loss of expectation, the more i...well, i've just got to say it...the more i thrive in joy!
being in the show was such a blessing to me for so many reasons. i could recount story after story of the memories and precious moments. my way-too-short visit to smokey joe's cafe was well worth the trip.
my experience as a part of the des moines playhouse production of "smokey joe's cafe" gave me so much growth and insight. here is my feeble attempt to capture just a few of the lessons from this marvelously catalytic time. 5 distinct phases emerged in the tina process for this project, phases that can be applied on and off the diva stage.
phase 1--badness
at the beginning of a new endeavor we all have to start somewhere. i think of nicole kidman in my favorite role of hers in the film "to die for". she's attempting to sell herself "like gangbusters" for a job at a tv station, and although the position is only for a glorified gopher, she says "do you have any idea where edward r murrow started?...well, neither do i, but i don't think it was at the top, do you?"
so it's a healthy thing to go through being at the flatline, zero knowledge, needing 100% training, quite simply...badness. in the show, it was dauntingly humbling for someone of my age to go back to school in some ways, after being increasingly affirmed and embraced as a pro. it was so beneficial for me to work through this phase and be forced out of resting on my laurels of laziness.
phase 2--basic
this is where you find out what you're really made of, your inherent wiring, your initial responses, your natural impulses. it was a serendipitous thrill to observe myself reacting to all the newness surrounding me, new musical material, new people, new sights, sounds, and exotic fragrances of the sacred space called theatre. it was one of those times where i said thanks to God because although i'm not where i want to be, i've definitely come a long way from where i was in the past, and my basic instincts were great evidence of that (and great reminders of how far i still aspire to grow).
phase 3--building
so if basic instinct was the foundation, the building phase was next, and so incredibly formative. i pushed myself in refining and tweaking ways to develop and expand my abilities, vocally, physically, socially, etc. they say there is one room that has no ceiling, the room for improvement. so it was time for me to push my long unchallenged artistic boundaries, technical, philosophical, and otherwise, to give birth to a performance i will always remember fondly with pride.
phase 4--building plus
self plus shepherding, critique, and strategically chosen tools and resources. this was not the time to declare myself beyond the help of others. this is a pivotal ingredient most of us miss out on in our attempts to deal with the issues of our lives. i was fortunate to be in a situation where the assistance of other people, places, and things was absolutely essential. this forced me to step out of myself, and become open and receptive to the wise advice of outsiders (most importantly, my director, who was nothing less than sensational).
phase 5--building super plus
self plus resources plus the magic of the audience presence in the moment. this combustive interaction provides a whole new layer of sparkle that you just can't get otherwise as a performer. in life, that's called relationships. that's called divine encounters. that's called rubbing up against the rest of the human race on a daily basis, being transformed by the touches. it's funny how i thrive so much on that special kind of audience energy in the performance setting, but rarely tap into it off stage in my personal life, and in fact, sometimes go out of my way to avoid it at all costs. but the more i let myself be transformed by this abandonment of control and loss of expectation, the more i...well, i've just got to say it...the more i thrive in joy!
being in the show was such a blessing to me for so many reasons. i could recount story after story of the memories and precious moments. my way-too-short visit to smokey joe's cafe was well worth the trip.
the vinegar of dealing
with soul disharmony
confounds the honey wish
for holistic destiny
tasting the bitter fragments
of spoiled incompleteness
continually thwarts love
and poisons happiness
a brief poetic word that sums up so much of what i am constantly consumed with, all my seemingly impossible dreams of wholeness and integration, in life, in love, in art, in faith. this truly is one of my magnificent obsessions. any thoughts to me on this subject are especially welcomed, so seek me out, you truth-seeking soulmates!
with soul disharmony
confounds the honey wish
for holistic destiny
tasting the bitter fragments
of spoiled incompleteness
continually thwarts love
and poisons happiness
a brief poetic word that sums up so much of what i am constantly consumed with, all my seemingly impossible dreams of wholeness and integration, in life, in love, in art, in faith. this truly is one of my magnificent obsessions. any thoughts to me on this subject are especially welcomed, so seek me out, you truth-seeking soulmates!
Thursday, June 05, 2003
from the juicy prolific psyche of the ranting non-diva...recent excerpts from my future poetic anthologies:
excerpt 1 -- from 38:
there's a new game in town, and it's called beat the clock
not easy for those of us who've been around the block...
...the ticking torments me with angst-ridden regret
but this non-fat lady will sing, so don't count me out yet
excerpt 2 -- from 39:
there is something to be said for just living
and not analyzing everything into the ground
there is something that brings comfort in just being
and bucking the system in which we're bound
there is something really cool about just chilling
and learning to relax, go with the flow
there is something extra wise about just breathing
and knowing that it's okay not to know
my prayer for us all: breathe...chill...be...live
excerpt 1 -- from 38:
there's a new game in town, and it's called beat the clock
not easy for those of us who've been around the block...
...the ticking torments me with angst-ridden regret
but this non-fat lady will sing, so don't count me out yet
excerpt 2 -- from 39:
there is something to be said for just living
and not analyzing everything into the ground
there is something that brings comfort in just being
and bucking the system in which we're bound
there is something really cool about just chilling
and learning to relax, go with the flow
there is something extra wise about just breathing
and knowing that it's okay not to know
my prayer for us all: breathe...chill...be...live
wow, i've got so many thoughts to share, but with a crashed computer and a consuming schedule, i've been a little preoccupied elsewhere. but i couldn't resist sharing a piece of our recent "sweet sixteen" celebration with the world. dove, i love you...
16 Things I Love About DOVE
1. her devotion to her friends
2. her attention to health and fitness
3. her sense of style
4. her articulate way of communicating
5. her kindness
6. her voice, speaking and singing
7. her artistry and creativity
8. her laughter
9. her grace and forgiveness for my many screw-ups
10. her gentleness
11. her stride when she walks
12. her cosmetic expertise (inherited from me of course)
13. her intelligence and deep thoughts
14. her eyes
15. her smile
16. absolutely everything else!
Happy Birthday to my Sweet Sixteen year-young peace child - you are even more miraculous than ever!
16 Things I Love About DOVE
1. her devotion to her friends
2. her attention to health and fitness
3. her sense of style
4. her articulate way of communicating
5. her kindness
6. her voice, speaking and singing
7. her artistry and creativity
8. her laughter
9. her grace and forgiveness for my many screw-ups
10. her gentleness
11. her stride when she walks
12. her cosmetic expertise (inherited from me of course)
13. her intelligence and deep thoughts
14. her eyes
15. her smile
16. absolutely everything else!
Happy Birthday to my Sweet Sixteen year-young peace child - you are even more miraculous than ever!
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