sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong, sing of good things not bad, sing of happy not sad. sing, sing a song, make it simple to last your whole life long. don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear. just sing, sing a song. all right now, were you singing? did you get that little ditty going in your head? if only life were as simple as that little song. i believe it could be. what? you've got to be joking? next thing you know, we'll be reading tina's own version of all i needed to know about life i learned in kindergarten. mock if you must, but the answers to our existence are found within the children inside us all. i love it that Jesus was all about that pure, unjaded, unruffled, uncomplicated approach...a sort of "juvenile relinquishment" of worry, stress, and every degree of maleficent hatchetry. not allowing any kind of uptight, degrading, dishonoring, spirit-breaking, dignity-shattering nonsense to enter the zone of abundance. and how does one accomplish this miracle of lifestyle serenity? think back to the playground, the hopscotch on the sidewalk, the corner lemonade stand, the bike rides, the kick-the-can games, and the effortless state of innocence. in my midlife world-weary hindsight, i can see the moments of love, truth, community, and passion, all laying a foundation which i stand on today that refuses to budge as it's nearly beaten to a pulp by hate, lies, isolation, and apathy. as peculiar as this sounds, there is an old child inside me, pleading for a chance to play, to touch, to hug, to bond, to invent, to discover, to love, and to be loved. and that old child just happens to be a soulmate of the greatest old child of all, an ideal prototype human being, who never really embraced adulthood as we define it today. yet in his "juvenile relinquishment", he somehow managed to become the most highly functioning adult who ever walked the good earth. read about him, talk about him, talk to him, be like him, live for him...and find the reasons why you were put on the planet, and what simple songs you are meant to sing out loud and strong.

peace---i'm trying to give it a chance, how about you? and that is not a statement either way on the big topic du jour, yes or no to war in the iraq situation. instead it is simply a declaration that, amid unprecedented ups and downs on every level of my life and the world's life, it truly is time for me to give peace a chance more than ever before. i'm clicking on peace causes, reading peace poetry, going to peace festivals, thinking peace thoughts. i look back on the statement in my last blog entry about my own peace being like the log that grossly supercedes the speck of global war. that is most definitely how i feel, but i must admit, what good is the achievement of a peaceful state of my personal mind and heart, if the world i live in goes needlessly helter-skelter? guess what, i intend to pour my energies in both directions, my heart and the heart of this world. and if wacko unsubstantive haste takes over (in any direction by any party on any side of the war dialogue), let's face it--our hearts will not go on like that titanic song. there won't be enough string quartets on decks around the world to serenade us with "nearer my God to thee" in the face of the tragedy that will undoubtedly follow. so let's unpack that a moment shall we? the opposite of wacko unsubstantive haste is sane substantive slowness. don't get me wrong, there is an undeniable urgency factor present for me and for my globe full of kindred seeking spirits. but me and my globe o'folk need to chill and regroup a little. we are so in need of guidance and mentorship, as sheep in need of a shepherd. we (me and my globe o'folk) are suffering from lack of the things that matter: truth, love, community, passion. those four factors are like legs of a chair that we desperately need to spiritually sit in. break it down, love/truth/community--no passion--chair falls, love/truth/passion--no community--chair falls, truth/community/passion--no love--chair falls, love/passion/community--no truth--chair falls. so how am i doing in these? check with me in a year, wait a second, check with me in a month--i rally within myself even now to not write myself off so flippantly. however, i recognize that i do need time to gently yet aggressively HEAL (there's that paradox again--you love me for these). sometimes you bandage up or put stuff on wounds or do limb therapy to heal. sometimes you just sit, with wounds uncovered, and let things air heal. that's what i am doing these days--air healing. and it is bringing me peace, which is slowly resourcing my 4 deficient chair legs. so how about you world? love in the world?--jaded, conditional, inconsistent. passion in the world?--misdirected, unfocused, or totally locked up and buried (see the movie "adaptation" for a great and creative, off-the-wall lesson about passion). truth in the world?--hidden so far beneath the surface, we can hardly hear it gasping for breath beneath the ever-rising rubble of countless generations. community in the world?--a key healing ingredient for every entity in life, be it politics, government, cities, country clubs, ghettos, the UN, the noisy neighbor upstairs, and in the piety clubs with the word "church" on their signposts yet have little to no resemblance whatsoever to the true meaning of the word "church"--COMMUNITY is the throbbing pulse beneath the shallowness, the tell-tale heart that persistently beckons for reckoning. gee, i'd like to note that my passion chair leg just had a healing moment. let's pray for more healing moments for all our broken chair legs. this is not idealistic spam, it's vital for our titanically toxic hearts to go on in a state of ever-increasing peace. dona nobis pacem, dona nobis pacem, infinity...

fight, fight, fight, fight, collide, collapse, concede. concede? is that really what i'm supposed to do at a moment of collision and/or collapse? i haven't been floating like a butterfly or stinging like a bee...spending more time bee-ing stung than roping dopes. i throw my hands up and say, this dope is roped. this blackbird has passed out in the cage. today, but not forever. look at that, today but not forever. that actually looks hopeful when i read it, and feels hopeful as i silently chant it as breath. driving down the white-trash aspiration hills and along the ethnic desperation yards, hearing the spam of the radio scan search feature, surrounded by miracles and magnificence if i could click on to them. like the opposite of frodo's ring, where he can click across the cosmic line at crucial moments and touch human evil, this is a far-less-developed instinct that i believe we all have--clicking on to the extraordinary, the amazing, the beauty, the hope...everywhere i look outside me...everywhere i look INside me. yes the fight is being played out on many many levels these days. did you read about the handshake man who dodged protocol and gave our president a note claiming God told him there would be 50,000 casualties if our nation did not repent? agree or disagree, it stuns you when you think about it long enough. fight for peace, fight for war, fight for truth, fight for justice, respect, harmony. fight for my way over your way, fight for surviving, let alone thriving. fight for dreams to be released, fight for nightmares to be ceased. fight for my peace, the log superceding the speck of global thermonuclear warfare. my peace...world peace, what can me and the world do? i say again, click on, dare to twitch our noses like samantha and step into another dimension, an undercurrent, a petrifying purifying plethora of transformation and transcendence. when i manage to do this for one brief moment in time, (brief because after all, this is mega-powerful stuff and even frodo didn't last too long in his inside out glimpses) truth kisses and kills me simultaneously like some spiritual spinal tap. i have big problems translating these surges of mega-power into daily life in this transitory love-craving vessel. i saw "the yoofo club" last night, an independently-produced Iowa film which especially lovable quirky-souled malcontents like me should see. in that film, i saw the fight at its fiercest. i see it all around me, i feel it intensifying everywhere. and i have compassion for the battles of others and of this world. i do wish i had more compassion for the battles within my own quirky soul, which are the fiercest and most intense battles of all. say what you will about quirky-soul-to-the-max michael jackson, but one of his songs says it extremely well, "i'm starting with the man in the mirror, i'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change." God, change me today. kiss me and kill me at the same time. petrify and purify me with love and truth. supercede my visions of glory with provisions of reality, which contains its own brand of glory when it's embraced. be the God of peace in my heart and in this world's heart, more than ever before. peace, peace, peace, peace, dance, heal, transcend. peace is possible, and i seize it gratefully, humbly fighting out the footsteps toward it.

hello to the blogger world--blessings to you all. in the midst of this heartland post-blizzard day, i relate to it, the post-blizzard state. lots of slush, proceeding cautiously, skidding, slowly creeping where you can usually whizz on by, transitional spots especially treacherous, lots of slush, chill to the bone, scraping and kicking and digging out from being covered up and marooned, seeing and feeling your breath more than usual, temperaments warped by the temperature, and did i mention lots and lots of slush. but beyond the immediate, what else do i learn from it? much needed moisture gained, much greater appreciation of sunshine and warmth, much more inner strength after exercising those muscles of character. that's pretty annoying, but true nonetheless. and at least, it just doesn't last that long, and it's never really as bad as it seems in the moment. so what does one do in a time of "melting?" fall back on the knowledge that it's not meant to cripple you. keep moving--inside and out, but be still--inside and out. yoo-hoo, that's a mighty trippy trick, isn't it? yes...BUT NO! you're loving me, right now, aren't you. paradox and swirl are the new absolutes. not really new, but we've arrived at an age where it is imperative to embrace them on all levels--global, national, corporate, relational, emotional, personal, spiritual. what does all this mean...come on now, read your scripts...nothing and everything! here's my wish for you today: in your blizzards, may you melt/in your sunshine, may you chill/if you do not get this now/some sweet day i hope you will.